Do you ever find it funny that you don't realize how much you miss someone?
I mean, you know in your heart that you miss them, but until you actually sit and think about it, you don't actually realize the emptiness in your heart made by their absence.
I'm not just talking about people who have passed on, but friends, family, friends that are so close that they are like family, who you haven't seen in a while. It's not even like you never see them at all, it's just that you don't see them very often and when you do, nothing substantial is talked about. It's generally just the common, and often superficial, conversation "How are you? Good and you?". When do we get to go past that? When and how can friends bare their hearts if all they have time for is a 15 minute conversation? Look at your life. Look at who you love the most, then ask yourself if you really "know" them. Look past the fact that you talk to them every day and look at what kind of substance those conversations hold. Does it go more in depth than the regular, run of the mill conversation?
Now look at those people who you haven't seen in a while. Think about conversations you've had with them. I can think of numerous people who have had drastic impacts on my life. And among these people are those who I don't talk to as much any more. I miss their input. I miss the fact that they are willing to listen to the cries of one lowly girl who feels less and than worth it. For example, I haven't had a substantial conversation with my one good friend since before the start of fall semester. Now this person has had a tremendous impact on my life. When I was missing my mom, the warmth and love of an older woman in my life, this friend stepped in. She loved me and helped me to turn to God when no one else could fill that burden in my heart. Recently I received an email from this friend and as I was emailing her back, I could feel my eyes filling with tears. It's not as if we have stopped talking on purpose or that we hate each other or anything like that. However, her love and impact on my life are greatly missed. Distance has caused communication barriers but I know that she will always have a special place in my heart. It's like that old sweater that you might not wear very often anymore but when you do, everything feels right. You can't seem to throw it out because there would be a hole in your closet that cannot be filled by any new sweater that you buy.
I think it is the same with good friends. When someone comes into your life and changes you, changes you for the better, you will never forget them. You will never be satisfied by another friendship in the same way. Friends are so important. They help pick you up when you can't do it yourself. They help defend your heart when you're too blind to see the arrows flying at it. Friends have the power to make every day a better day. They have the power to change even the darkest day to light. Without friends, how can we experience the community that God has created people for?
I know that this blog is all over the place, but I guess that's what happens when I write what's on my mind. (haha) So enjoy it, or don't. Take it or leave it.