If only.

Emptiness.
Where does it come from?
Why does it come? Why does it come when we are filled with so much?
My heart should be content, yet its not.
It yearns and longs for something more. I know exactly what that "more" is but yet I can't bring myself to seek it out, to search for it.
Why do emptiness and loneliness come together? Why do they come when one is surrounded by so many people? Why do they often appear when standing in a room full of people?
Why is it that we are known by so many people but no one really knows "us"?
Why does that question completely contradict itself?
Does it mean that we can never be known or loved?
Why is it that we know that there is the One who loves us and yet we turn away? Are we afraid? Are we scared to admit that someone actually knows us? Does it terrify us to know that someone loves us in spite of everything we hide from everyone else? Why is it so hard to see and accept the love that He has for us? Why do we run so hard in the wrong direction?
His arms are spread wide. He is waiting. He is waiting to be embraced. Yet we're so scared that we can't accept it. It's like that hug from the Auntie you don't really know. You know that she loves you but you don't know her well enough to accept that love.
Why?
If I could answer this life would be different. Life wouldn't feel so empty at times. Rooms full of people wouldn't feel so lonely. If only we, if only we could embrace the love that is waiting for us.
If only.