The only One.

Why can one have so many friends, yet feel like a complete outcast? Does that mean that those said friendships are not real friendships? Why is it that relationships cost so must? Why, for real relationship, does one have to bear it all? Is it the opening of one's most innermost feelings that allows for love to take place? It can be said that healing is found in the bearing of those wounds, but does relationship actually flow from that openness? Or does actually saying what one means get a person in trouble?
Do real friends care about what is going on in your life? Or do real friends care enough not to ask? In Christian circles we are called to community, yet when we reveal what is on our hearts we are suddenly in the middle of a, for lack of a better word, "shit-storm". When our emotions are brought to the surface people do not deal well with it. People are broken. And that inherent brokenness is what keeps us from loving; it is what keeps us from forgiving. And what intrinsically keeps us from freedom. There is no freedom in being broken people if we do not acknowledge our Savior. There is freedom in being broken, bruised, and wounded if one is at the feet of Jesus but it seems, at least in our world, that to be broken in the face of friends and family is NOT freeing. To admit brokenness is to admit defeat.
Brokenness should not be shunned. Emotions cannot be downplayed as frivolous parts of life. They are the opposite of frivolous, they are essential. Without emotions how does one love, how does one live?
As I write this I realize my own hypocrisy. There have been so many times where I have looked at someone's emotions and thought, "How useless". And there have been times where I have hidden my own emotions deep within my heart so as not to look weak. As I type these words I am hiding my emotions, and baggage. I feel like I always seem to be the one wearing her "emotions on her sleeve" and I am tired of being the only one. I am tired of being scared that the people I share my emotions with do not actually care. If we all shared what was on our hearts, being vulnerable would not be so difficult. We could be free to weep without fear of judgement. But living in the world we do, I cannot see how is this possible. Where strength and toughness get people ahead in life, there is not much room for the hurting, for the broken.
There is one place we can find rest. There is one person who TRULY does care. He never changes and he himself was broken so we could live. Jesus wants to hear what is hurting. He wants to heal and he wants to love. We just need to be willing, willing to lay broken and humbled at his feet.